Pedantic

 Rob used to call my poetry pedantic. Maybe it's because well he'd put take crack shots but I also like that about him. He too seemed like to be coming into a place of healing from something else. Of course that teacher Robert Johnson would take pokes at us. It's the trouble with masculinity. The thing about being pedantic in my brain is trying to figure things out and finding a way to make sense of it through certain ways of creating a statement. Of course the qualifiers help that we don't want to say all but many or some

Being pedantic or just trying to make sense of the world through all of the different things that come to me in my brain or things I've read or things I'm engaged in

It's the same with the latest Batman movie where hypermasculinity is about hyper individualism. But it can also be someone with cptsd not able to move out into the world. Of course we also need to think about neurodivergence. As I'm near a Divergent and went through trauma it was very hard for me difficult for me to put even things in words. And so now it's likely that some of the words I use sound pedantic because I'm still trying to flex those muscles and not think to rock brain about it

Classroom religious

 I noticed when people pray, they close their eyes and bowed at their heads. Someone often leads in prayer with their words. Maybe closing the eyes is to avoid visual distractions. It's also to help concentrate on the words. In my classroom, even though I'm not asking people to close their eyes and bow down, I would still like for them to concentrate on my words and keep their visuals distractions be a cell phones away

Don't worry about being too avant-garde

 “Something comes out, and it’s too avant-garde at the time. And then the real world catches up with it,” he says,

https://www.empireonline.com/movies/news/tron-ares-upgrade-saga-holy-grail-graphics-exclusive/

Persona

 Poetry writing class a student who is in the theater said that's how you take on a role of acting, that you read the script and learn the character but then you have to make some kind of connection with that character. You figure out how to enter that character's world through something you have in common and then you can inhabit that character in a way no one else can. That you aren't yourself when acting but you also are through that character.

And no one else can act that character like you can.

The same with Persona poetry, how I loved learning about it through the poet Ai and was deeply moved by how her ethics of being someone of color couldn't have it serial killers and other white people because the oppressed know the oppressors more than themselves.

Persona poetry taking on the mask and that you can actually feel more through that.

So as I'm reading about all of the different names going around about who will be the Batman in The Bold and the brave, I realized I'll try to connect with that character. And I'm thinking of childhood and the feeling of being an orphan the orphan archetype.

Then I start crying. It's because of these untapped parts of my childhood that I haven't explored still as someone who could see it at a distance. That I don't want to relive it has that causes damage but to see it objectively in this idea of in happening a character who is felt those archetypes that I have that we all have in US allowed for me to release some kind of visceral feeling.

Boyhood

 Boy, I hated that movie. Maybe it's because we are faced with our own childhoods when we see a movie like that one. As a parent we have to face our own childhoods as we're bringing up our children. But I find that the worst space is when you return to a place from childhood even as an adult there are those days that you've let your guard down for some reason and those floods of memories come back. Like I'm at Gage Park and thinking of all of those things while trying to remain optimistic and grounded that my son is here learning theater learning the tricks and the trade as they say, Helen Hawker,

I want to load up all of those experiences that could play me onto the back of the train and let it take a ride around the park

 but that I think of me when my own theater experience as horrid the grease Musical for a movie I loved but was treated so horribly by those older teenagers. And then I let myself be the Clown because I don't know how to fit in. So much of me not wanting to be a boy and having all of those expectations that I just wanted to care about others in this gender dichotomy. That even the Young woman who was put up by her friends to give me a kiss on the last day as I was waiting for my ride I was wondering then where are her friends? Where are they watching from? And I didn't give a kiss. I told her I was uncomfortable I told her the truth

Follow the fun

 https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJAylIpv5Tb/?igsh=MTdwdDRiNXgyd2g1aA==

So much goodness in this, that the way to look at having fun is to write the movie you want to see, or in my case the book I want to read. I need to put this Forefront write the book I want to read then I'm going to have fun reading.

July and beyond

 first week: just rest and decompress

 second week: fun brainstorm, set up table of contents, 

Aug 4 send slides UUFT 

Aug 17 UUFT presentation

Aug 19: Kansas City Speakers Bureau

Oct 1 Colby Speakers Bureau

16-19 writers colony

 Nov 20-23 NCTE