David Lynch passed away today

 How can I sneak in some David Lynch into my writing? How can this be a part of what changed my way of looking at films?

Memoir

 It was kind of like this boy's life but the stepdad is the dad and the mother has to get out of there like in fried green tomatoes as the dad comes in to hit her.

And it was like Goodwill Hunting but for 11 years actually in college.

Robin Williams telling me it's not your fault it's not your fault

21 c memoir

 How this article describes the beginning of the 21st century in that the confessionalism of the memoir launched into the 21st century. It's the same thing from the confessional poem, that we seek a post-confessional poem. That the representation needs to lead to Healing include others or create some fluid I

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/nonfiction-book-bestsellers-subjects-b2676650.html

Rachel Zucker wrote a lot about this about how the I needs to be included

https://www.foundryjournal.com/zucker.html

How can we write past the confessional but what I mean is that through my healing I don't really find it necessary to name names. I don't need to say anything about the tragedy or abuse I went through. You just need to know that I survived and then I can show some of those joys and loves in play and wonder.

It's the same with how my poetry really launched off, that I attached joy and play to the writing.

And experimental work is the best punk way to work. We have to adapt a punk nature against masculinity. Which is why I was talking about against white male poetry classrooms. White male teaching.

I know it's the irony of me being a white guy but that's why I know even more from my own experiences of having a life where I could reject men and didn't want anything to do with them. That I became my own heroine Journey.

Hero versus heroine Journey and maybe I'm also on the monster Journey

So the Memoir can be that representation while speaking out against oppressive forces.

That's what my research will eventually be too is to look at the Memoirs coming out of Hollywood and comparing them. I'm stuck with equiterre feminine Helen Gireaux 

Something I will have to go back and remember how to spell.

Romantic comedies

 https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/of-minds-and-men/202501/three-love-lessons-from-a-century-of-romantic-comedies

Interesting as I think about these things, especially how I wait to watch Eternal Sunshine when it's Valentine's Day.

What do these things tell us?

Mythmaking

Another Punk aesthetic in Miranda July

 Me and you and everyone we know as an ultimate homage to the vulnerability we all have, the unexpected, the things we're searching for and the things that we realize we don't need. And that's what I need to do with thinking of the sabbatical, this writing, is stop thinking that I need to do something and just to be truthful and honest. Then go back and write to make it good. Just that like the line in Lee, worry about telling the truth first.

John Waters

 I'm looking at his films on Criterion Channel as I have it this month and I'm thinking about how he made the movies he wanted to make. He was called all kinds of names, but he still made those movies the way he wanted and now he's invited to give commencement speeches at colleges. Well I want to write the book I want to write. Maybe I need to take that punk attitude. I'm looking at all these books and they will make good guidelines, but I also want to be true to myself and write the book I would want to read. What are the things I would want to read about the things I want to talk about. I want to put them in my own way in my own words. And I know I have the style of saying these words that I mean to be colloquialisms but they turn out wrong but I like that. It's like I said many I'm weighted down by money but I mean money is so scarce that it weighs heavily on my mind. Why can't I just say that I'm weighted down by money. Okay when I think of money I get weighted down.

I want to talk about that movie everything everywhere all at once and how I'm like women that I totally understand how he uses kindness as an way to get around the world. I've never been one to try to be rude. It's just my midwest Kansas upbringing and if that can't be a strength what can be? I mean I was thinking about the cynicism that when you're a teenager it's so cool, but then you continue being a cynic and you're grown up and you think what the heck am I thinking about? Why am I feeling this way about things? This can't be healthy!

So I'm going to be Punk and I'm going to go to the movie theater no one wants to go to in Topeka and I'm going to set up my poetry shop there.

I mean it's so corporate that now it's anti-corporate. It's a hole in the wall that Regal just keeps open because they're not going to lose any money from keeping it open but it's so Punk they won't change it in any way. And that reminds me I need to go look in that hidden movie theater and see what happened. They only have seven screens open and I want to see what they're doing about the 8th. I saw those chairs there I wonder if they're remodeling.

A Sabbatical of Joy

 I am wishing to merge work with joy--just as I have in the past--so I will be up for suggestions.

One thing I want to do is reach out to movie theaters to ask if I may be their Poet Laureate for the weekend. It seems the best time to work on my own stuff, draw creativity, and offer five free poetry tickets for anyone who wishes for one.

Maybe even take my printer with me?