Archetypes

 https://www.carolspearson.com/archetype-pages/seeker-archetype

https://www.jcf.org/post/myth-understood-the-archetype-of-the-seeker-ex-machina?mc_cid=8f5a143077&mc_eid=a044939049

Rawness

 https://www.loudersound.com/features/how-with-teeth-saved-nine-inch-nails-career

I want to capture this rawness and this rise of artistry, just really getting angsty

I want to go to Kansas City where I'm not going to get into a car accident

I was trying to see the new hip bookstore and the traffic was just unbearable, and I took a side street thinking I could Circle the block but then I couldn't

There was another event going on in that street so try to go back to that street and then I couldn't see down the way because of all the cars parked

I was so paralyzed I couldn't even back my car up as I knew a car was coming and I know I might get hit all I was doing was just standing there still watching the car hit me

Alamo drafthouse

 I need to write its own little piece of writing because it really broke my heart. There will never be something that I see could mimic what the Alamo Drafthouse was on Main Street.

Look for ephemera

 Take some of the ephemera that I've collected from movie theaters as well as look for other ephemera, including movie tickets, and scan and write about them. It's my documenting for the experience. I was raised up in the souvenir era everything is a souvenir what that word comes from memory

Also the popcorn carrier craze is just an extension of the popcorn movie Bucket an extension of what a collectible is.

to do

 Double feature, movie theater crawl, writing in the lobby, interviews, 

Trip to hollywood

Reminders

 There's an anxiety that comes when you're thinking of the large project. Just like I compartmentalize time and work, I have to remember that the ritual that will get me to the place of writing, the books that I will use during my journey for creativity, for just having the time and space to do all of this is like having a huge support system of other writers. And maybe that is something I will include in my writing that the support system that writers provide is an appeal to books. To movies. To poetry.

Daredevil post

 https://youtu.be/7-g0c9n_HsM?si=BXqTVsCKeVgamrqc

Documentation

 Be sure to document everything about the writing, where I did it, what books I was reading to influence my writing, some of the people I talked to, anything about it I want to create the notes for it as I write in the word document,too. Facebook is an open diary.

Places to write

 I would like to write a movie theater lobbies

Spend a day in the Topeka Public Library working on writing

Spend a day in the Lawrence Public Library

Spend the day in a coffee house in Lawrence

Blackbird

Juli's

Flow state

 They call it the Flow State and sports and physiology, I call it the somatic writing ritual along with others from naropa from where somatic Poetics is practice. Like ca Conrad as a practitioner includes in their published works.

12 angry men

 Hypermasculinity and flat out anger

The movies unhinged and the other one with Michael Douglas

Balance with first cow

A student with friends to see a double future. One of her friends leaned over just whisper one word and the guy behind them flew out in anger yelling at them.

I know I need to work on cell phone use in the movies

How do I ask in the most quiet nonconfrontational way

A way to language

 When I mean is that we all have the way to use language that we aren't often asked to attend to, that we're asked to follow certain patterns that seem foreign to us instead of phrasing things in the way we want to phrase them.

My way to poetry through Dr nobo, through poetry nights, through poetry saving me, interspersed with these movies how trauma affects someone's ability to move forward even as they have abilities

Good will hunting, Dead Poets Society

Finding Forrester and how the poem is never heard

Did they chicken out? Because in Slam the poetry of Saul Williams is powerful. Why couldn't they have gotten a poem from anyone who was currently writing at the time

Li Young Lee in Wichita

Someone said, poetry isn't a hobby

My mentors are women

Liberty hall podcast

 Liberty hall podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/3vF5XLKJidmxJ4STbUfmF1?si=wR7pEVk4QXOHnbmyQYfP4A

What I mean by free writing

 Even as I still ask students to free write which means tapping into the subconscious flow of words in writing out what comes, I sometimes wonder if there are those who don't hear me or just can't do it because we've been taught to think before writing. Thinking before writing doesn't help us get to our deeper selves as well as just letting the writing happen.

I'm going to start doing these writings on the board to show students what I mean.

A student's idea of free writing:

I can't wait for the weekend. I'm looking forward to some free time. I'm too stressed out.

My idea:

For the common flight of witness my albatross has wings again

Chick flix

 Or why I never have to turn in my man card because I never had one 

Mental rom coms

 I use Mental to try to challenge the pejorative term, and that these rom-coms show in the best way possible with the best understanding of psychology to put characters in the protagonist role. As we know with disabilities and mental illness, it both matters and doesn't matter. And that's what I love about these rom-coms is that I can identify with the things inside me even though the characters might have something different about them.

A whole day at the theater

 I know sounds obsessive, excessive, even as some of these movie passes you can only go once a day, I would love to know what it would be like to stay the whole day seeing film to film. Sure the lunch wouldn't be that great. Or the dinner. Maybe even see if there's going to be a marathon? That's what this sabbatical is about, finding different ways of doing things I haven't done yet.

Religious studies folks

 They are my people

Their ideas are amazing 

Family dynamics

 We can't see the narcissistic person

We can't see the emeshment

Or people not under self regulation 

Window of tolerances shutting

Someone who says they are the rescuer

Hospital

 Yes so the heart and the stroke, lymphoma, 

Coronary artery disease

The shunt caused a problem. With blood.roto rooter her veins every three months.

Dialysis.

Going to the hospital brings those memories

Austin Kleon

He likes to share 10 things worth sharing every week. I like how he moves from list number two to three by borrowing from the end of list two. Maybe this is something to do with a piece of pulling together some of the research.

2.Kurt Vonnegut: “Where do I get my ideas from? You might as well have asked that of Beethoven. He was goofing around in Germany like everybody else, and all of a sudden this stuff came gushing out of him. It was music. I was goofing around like everybody else in Indiana, and all of a sudden stuff came gushing out. It was disgust with civilization.”

3.“What is civilisation? I don’t know.” In “The Seductive Enthusiasm of Kenneth Clark’s ‘Civilisation,’” Morgan Meis argues that the TV series Civilisation succeeds “despite its underlying ideas, not because of them…. Clark is an indispensable guide not so much because of what he knows—though he is deeply knowledgeable—as because of his unabashed enthusiasm for the art that he shows us.” (This is something I remember from watching Sister Wendy in art class. It makes me think of a line from physicist Brian Greene: “My best teachers were not the ones who had all the answers. They were the ones deeply excited by questions they couldn't answer.”)

Princess leia tshirt

 And our boys struggling with wanting to read books about unicorn princesses

The Criterion Channel Free Movie Week 2025

The Criterion Channel

Free Movie Week 2025

Tuesday 4/8

6 p.m. ET - BREATHLESS (Jean-Luc Godard, 1960)

8 p.m. ET - THE BEAST (Bertrand Bonello, 2023)

10:30 p.m. ET - CHUNGKING EXPRESS (Wong Kar Wai, 1994)

12:30 p.m. ET - PERSONA (Ingmar Bergman, 1966)

Wednesday 4/9

6 p.m. ET - 8 ½ (Federico Fellini, 1963)

9 p.m. ET - THE DAYTRIPPERS (Greg Mottola, 1996)

10:30 p.m. ET - EO (Jerzy Skolimowski, 2022)

12 a.m. ET - HOUSE (Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1977)

Thursday 4/10

6 p.m. ET - THE TRIAL (Orson Welles, 1962)

8:30 p.m. ET - EVIL DOES NOT EXIST (Ryusuke Hamaguchi, 2023)

10:30 p.m. ET - MISHIMA: A LIFE IN FOUR CHAPTERS (Paul Schrader, 1985)

Friday 4/11

6 p.m. ET - ALL WE IMAGINE AS LIGHT (Payal Kapadia, 2024)

8:30 p.m. ET - MIKEY AND NICKY (Elaine May, 1976)

10:30 p.m. ET - NIGHT ON EARTH (Jim Jarmusch, 1991)

Saturday 4/12

3 p.m. ET - TAMPOPO (Juzo Itami, 1985)

5 p.m. ET - PLAYTIME (Jacques Tati, 1967)

8 p.m. ET - BLOOD SIMPLE (Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, 1984)

9:35 p.m. ET - BEAU TRAVAIL (Claire Denis, 1999)

11:10 p.m. ET - POLICE STORY (Jackie Chan, 1985)

Sunday 4/13

3 p.m. ET - BLACK NARCISSUS (Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, 1947)

4:40 p.m. ET - DAISIES (Věra Chytilová, 1966)

6 p.m. ET - PARIS, TEXAS (Wim Wenders, 1984)

9 p.m. ET - CURE (Kiyoshi Kurosawa, 1997)

11 p.m. ET - TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME (David Lynch, 1992)

MONDAY 4/14

6 p.m. ET - CLÉO FROM 5 TO 7 (Agnès Varda, 1962)

7:30 p.m. ET - RASHOMON (Akira Kurosawa, 1950)

9 p.m. ET - THE PLAYER (Robert Altman, 1992)

11:30 p.m. ET - STALKER (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1979)

 

12 angry men

ANGRY WHITE GUYS. Even gentle white guys like me have to deal with them. We're at the stop sign on a one way street as the ambulance on my right has its lights on. No sirens. I still think that I'll just wait for the ambulance to pass by me because I know it needs to get into my lane to get to the hospital. Light turns green, and the guy behind me lays  on his horn for me to move. So I just move a little to let the ambulance pass me. We approach the next stop light and Mr Anger is on my right now, window down, TOO CLOSE to my car, staring me down and not looking at the road, with anger on his face. I roll my window down. I yell, the ambulance lights were on. He doesn't hear me as he asks, are you all right? He doesn't ask in the way that he's concerned about me. I then repeat again, the ambulance lights were on, man. He looks over to notice the ambulance in front of me. Oh okay, he says as he drives on by.

Kismet moments

 Just as I'm thinking about The Uncanny I think about Kismet

Then in the used bookstore I found a copy of a Mythic life that came out in 1996 by Jean Houston

In the mythology section

Is the daughter of Jack Houston who is a comedy writer and the introduction begins where he took her almost 5 years old to MGM Studios in Hollywood

Now get this I'm trying to write a book about going to the movies as modern mythology and here it is in the part of the book where I always love going, the introduction, where I can get the juiciest of material from any book

And it's so uncanny to me as I'm reading about Hollywood that I would have find it in a book about Miss in someone encouraging to find their own Mythic life

bechdel test

 https://getpocket.com/explore/item/10-iconic-movies-that-pass-the-bechdel-test

 

uncanny

 as the X-Men

 as how students who are similar sit together in a class without knowing each other

as in etymology, the eerie, the way we can't say why

in medias res

 One of the first things fiction writers are taught about effective story-telling is to start in medias res, in the midst. It's also something I tell people when they ask how I am doiung suring a busy time--I'm in the midst. Soemthing educators say in April.

 

Films are 

We are

our origins reinvent themselves as we are in the midst

 

the big T word

 yes, include trauma in the writing

 

awareness of truama, not as a buzzword, but as a reality

not to label or serve as a detriment, but as a reality

the strengths of survivalhood

the strengths of ADHD

the strengths  

although I also hate it when people say, well, it made you a stronger person

 

To come up with a metaphor for each thing in a theater

 Some of the audience with their cell phones out are like June bugs I've already caught

Joan Foth

 How was I supposed to know that she lived across the street from me that she was a famous artist?

People you just don't know that you might think you know who they are but you don't know.

The saint

 Val Kilmer

He's hiding running from the past, does he truly care about Elizabeth's shoes character

He's posing as different people

He's realizing he can't do what he's hired to do

why these notes

 I will come back to grab all these notes when I sit down to write.

Remember: to keep track of the books I am reading, movies I watched, people I spoke to for each chapter. NOTES section. Even inspirations from what I read. etc.

People with ADHD have so many brilliant plans, but it is common not to complete them. 

It might be ADHD paralysis.

Exhaustion, lack of hyperfocus, lots of reasons to not finish. Not laziness, but burnout. or even worry to start.

We may have a history of not finishing which compounds into shame.

We ,might take a project on forgetting the work we already have.

 

Citizen by Claudia Rankine

 It's a funny thing that happened today. Louise sent an email noting how she might have lended someone the copy of her book Citizen and asked if anyone had a copy that she could borrow or return. I went in to place my copy into her box and found there was a copy already there. Then Melanie said yes I too try to put my copy in and noticed someone already had. I said yeah this is the fun thing that so many of us have a copy of this.

And I think New York Times recently said it was like the number one nonfiction book of the century so far. It's something to keep in mind if you're going to teach a nonfiction writing class. Maybe also not to discount this if you're writing your own memoir?

Note about my memoir

 Just a drop a few notes about what I would like to achieve

This won't be a memoir that seeks revenge on anyone. I've seen people advertently or inadvertently writing to somehow get back at someone and that will never work. 

This won't be a memoir that describes the trauma as much as it covers how going to the movies can be healing. In other words just like trauma-informed care, it helps those who have been traumatized but also benefits everyone. That going through trauma is in a deficit.

Wystan says put in a good word for me

I'm not going to cover everything. There are just some things that are best Kept Within a family or privately.

That's it this is not an autobiography. A Memoir takes selected things and make some mashup of how they are connected. Or that there's Simply Connected because you put them together.

I'll definitely be referencing the book body work because I like how she puts and changes things into different povs

why women's and gender studies

 I know with the current abolishment of DEI, it is difficult to explain to people why such a concept exists. It's not a concept, but a reality. 

Just like having ADHD, it both doesn't and does matter. 

The nuance to be able to accept something which seems a contradiction in terms means getting away from either/or logical fallacies.

the fact that I learned women's and gender studies first-hand before taking any class about it

 

pop-up poetry workshop

 Part of me would like to just rest and work on my book during the sabbatical, but the other part loves doing workshops--especially in differnet places one wouldn't find one. Without classes, this seems the perfect time to do it.

 

Plan to reach out to movie theaters and coffeehouses where there aren't theaters.