Wasted years

 You know that thing that hit me when I had to get out of that old life into actual leaving and living, is that I could see all of that as Wasted Years, and now I'm looking at all of these other things that I've had to do in my writing and I look at some of it and thought oh man I need to step up my game now more than ever, I need to step up my game by actually writing as a deeper me, that all of this led me here all of this led me here to hear, including all of those negative experiences I need to become fierce in my love fierce in my loving and those people who have stayed my friends now can recognize that in me and they actually like hanging out with me and they see me just as like I've seen them like I just do with anyone because how I love life now. But yeah those people I had to cut off from because they were horrible guys, or some of the people who cut off from me for whatever reason, I just need to appreciate the people who are still here. I mean things to my spouse it's such the best example of someone who accepts all of my flaws and histories and all of those lies I had to finally break because I came from a family of lies and abuse.