Boyhood

 Boy, I hated that movie. Maybe it's because we are faced with our own childhoods when we see a movie like that one. As a parent we have to face our own childhoods as we're bringing up our children. But I find that the worst space is when you return to a place from childhood even as an adult there are those days that you've let your guard down for some reason and those floods of memories come back. Like I'm at Gage Park and thinking of all of those things while trying to remain optimistic and grounded that my son is here learning theater learning the tricks and the trade as they say, Helen Hawker,

I want to load up all of those experiences that could play me onto the back of the train and let it take a ride around the park

 but that I think of me when my own theater experience as horrid the grease Musical for a movie I loved but was treated so horribly by those older teenagers. And then I let myself be the Clown because I don't know how to fit in. So much of me not wanting to be a boy and having all of those expectations that I just wanted to care about others in this gender dichotomy. That even the Young woman who was put up by her friends to give me a kiss on the last day as I was waiting for my ride I was wondering then where are her friends? Where are they watching from? And I didn't give a kiss. I told her I was uncomfortable I told her the truth