Wednesday, June 21
I went for my first Sunrise of summer solstice at 5:00 a.m. and it was wonderful. We did chance, someone played their harp, we did writing. I stayed and had good conversations like with Hannah about her monster project that I just brought up monsters Journey. I had a good conversation with Sherwin about my teaching practices and I learned a lot about where he is and his dependents on poets from other places. It made me think that I'm lucky to have Kevin and Jericho for that support.
As my panel was accepted I've spent some time working on that and found out that I could print using the Allen Ginsberg library.
I also typed up poems for my reading on friday.
Meeting Selah was the highlight of today, to finally connect with her and her wife. She gave a great talk about divinatory poetics. She even used her cards to describe what the room was, how the place of the room was.
I rested after picking up my fiji water. I know Thursday and Friday will be all-day going on.
Thursday, June 22
With my morning haptic, and I'm keeping in mind with what CA said about the third day, but the seismograph that I made is a representation of how I am, that the top surface is tense and restrictive while the bottom surface is loose and playful. So that led to my writing about how that was made from my very childhood period that I would be in trouble for being creative period
That led me to thinking about even when my mother divorced my father and mother Sandra moved in. She could bring love and healing to us through her practices and we could heal her. Even with this home of love and healing we were cut off by the neighborhood. I lost my friends. And it's something I could never talk about at school as I already had dawned depression and just kept to myself. I tried to stay clear of people let alone share that aspect of love. There's also a lot I don't remember that time which is nice to know that I helped the person in home ec with her napkin maker. So that even that idea of myself as being someone who is closed off that I was maybe helping others without remembering or knowing it.
I'm getting ready for the student panel and I'm thinking in these terms of sharing. I know that my interest in neuroscience comes from mother Sondra, that looking at how poetry heals and the psychology of it is definitely from that.
Also I know I've been thinking about reaching out to people to see if they would want to sign up for my tiny letter email which I would rarely send things but I still wanted to send hopeful matters as well as talk about local events going on. My time at naropa has just fortified this, that I want to go out and move out into the world with what I've learned and share it with others. I guess that's the heart of a teacher?
CA posted a pic of a poem from This Removed Utopia. My response: Thank you, CA, beyond what I can say as thanks. My poetic utopia is where poets are seen and loved as well as reciprocate seeing and loving all poets. You set that example. 💕💕💕
I am wondering if I really need to have that as my return to social media, with intent and purpose to share local and National poets.
Again to focus on those people who crave that, as I know that is why people are really putting things about their successes up, because they still feel insecure in that they crave to be seen and loved.
So I should be around people that I know see and love me as well as share that. Maybe that is what the boundary is?
In the middle of the ca ritual, I approached Claire to tell her about Alison Cobb's plastic book. She shared about how her family has cancer from working in the Dow Chemical plants. It was then I realized when I was saying she should write about that as a way for healing, that maybe I'm like my mother's giving their own prescriptions for healing, their own approaches as nurses. I'm both the doctor and the nurse when thinking of Western medicine, something that I have against Hospital systems as the heart and mind are divided.
When I did my writing this morning by choosing a younger tree and an older tree, the younger tree had more to say to me while the older tree had nothing. I tried two different times and I got a little frustrated, but afterwards I realized what am I doing? If the tree doesn't want to say something it doesn't have to. Again, the younger tree had more to say to me.
We had a Bernadette mayor reading for the noontime, and there's a Kansas poem even! I have to really get some Bernadette Meyer poetry soon.
The lyric consciousness talk that Dan beachy quick gave was really amazing. There's so much I want to look into more about that and I want to explore etymologies more through these dictionaries. I should look up the dictionaries that he uses.
The really good thing about this time is it feels like summer school. People are very open and inviting to be friends. There's a very cool staff involvement to where they're dropping by with students showing a movie like but I'm a cheerleader.
The thing about my panel which I didn't expect was that we were all Queer. It was really fascinating!
Now is the reading for tonight and I'm really excited for it.
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